I'm Broken
by I-h8-fish
Summary: Something terrible happens to Kyle, making him afraid of contact with the one he loves. Can Stan help him through this tough time and help him get past his fears? Style pairing eventually. Rated M for swearing, sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everybody! It's been quite a while! I'm happy to say that i'm back with a brand new chapter fanfic. I'm hoping this one becomes popular like Let's get physical.

Anyways I **DO** have a big warning about this fic. This chapter does contain a rape scene. I did not enjoy writing it and I think rape is the worst thing that could happen to someone, but I felt like I wanted to address the whole issue. I apologize in advance if you read it and get hurt or angry at me. Please take this warning into consideration before reading.

I've read some rape fics on here and wanted to give my own a shot.

I do not own South Park or the characters.

...

"Dude, it's so nice to be hanging out like this again…" I say as I rub my hands up and down my thighs. It's been one of my nervous habits for many years now. I peak out of the corner of my eye to see Stan smirking at me.

"Yeah, dude. Sorry, I know I've been hanging out with Wendy a lot lately. She's been bitching about me not being a good enough boyfriend." He states while sliding off of his bed and sits down beside me.

"She's crazy, she's lucky to have you, Stan." The minute the sentence flows past my lips, I mentally slap myself. _Oh god, that must have sounded so gay_.

"Ha ha, thanks! I wish she felt that way." His hand finds my shoulder and gives it a few friendly pats. Even through the material of my shirt, I can feel the warmth of his hand spreading through my whole body.

I smile to myself, wishing we were this close all the time. Playing video games, eating everything in sight and just chilling is what I want to do with my super best friend. And it feels like Wendy is stealing him from right under my nose. I cherish every moment I have with Stan, and my feelings seemed to have developed past being just best friends. I don't believe I'm gay, but I don't believe I'm straight either. Only Stan catches my attention.

Stan is quite attractive, even straight guys would agree with me. The silky, midnight black hair, his radiant blue eyes and that toned body of his make him who he is. He isn't overly manly, but to _me_ he is the definition of a man.

The warmth I feel when he touches me, or when I touch him, the times we've hugged, I wish time could freeze so we could stay holding each other forever. Maybe I just look up to him, or maybe I just want to be like him. Stan is basically my hero, and I admire him for everything he is, and everything he isn't.

"Hey, earth to Kyle. You in there, man?" His hand is waving in front of my face, bringing me back to reality.

"Oh, yeah…sorry about that. Just spaced out for a moment. I guess I'm just tired." I look out of the corner of my eye once again to catch him looking at the clock on the wall.

"Holy, no wonder, it's getting pretty late." I take a look at the clock as well, my mind finally registering that it's almost eleven. On a weekend this would be early for us, but since it's a school night, it is quite late.

"Shit, my mom is going to kill me." I grab my cell phone from my bag to see I've missed five calls from her. Knowing her, she's probably having a panic attack from me not answering the calls.

"Why don't you just stay the night?" I quickly text my mom, letting her know I'm on my way home.

"Ah, I have to get home. Sorry, Stan. I'll see you at school tomorrow, though." He stands up and grabs my hand to help me up. The smile currently on his face makes me blush.

"Later, Ky." I toss my bag over my shoulder, and put my wool, burgundy beret on top of my head.

"Yeah…bye…" There's a few seconds of silence, my hands fiddling together before I hook my arms around his neck, pulling him in a tight hug. There's a moment before he hesitantly places his hands on my back. He must be confused by my sudden action. We let go of each other after a few seconds, which I wish lasted longer, and I stare at the ground, clearly embarrassed. He chuckles and pats me on the back in a friendly gesture.

"What was that for?" I grip the strap of my bag, nervously playing with it between my fingers.

"I don't know, it's just…we haven't done this in a while." The hand on my back leaves its place and I suddenly feel cold.

"Yeah, you're right. Anyways you better get going. We don't want your mom more pissed off than she probably already is."

"Yeah, later." I say quickly and as I turn around he grips my arm lightly, making me face him again.

"Oh, by the way, that hat looks just as nice as your green one." The kind smile he wears as he says that makes my heart flutter in my chest. _Oh God, leave Kyle before you do anything more stupid_.

"Thanks…" I give him one last smile and turn around again, heading down the stairs and grab my coat. I quickly throw it on, not bothering to zip it up.

Cold courses through my body the minute I step out into the frigid, cold air. Thank God there is barely any snow on the ground, but I do wish it were a tad warmer out.

I jump slightly when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I pull it out to see a text from my mom. I roll my eyes at the fact my mom is texting me, but nonetheless I reply to her.

_We need milk and break for the morning, could you pick some up at the store? Should still be open for a little while longer. Sorry to ask you this so late sweetie.  
_

_Mom xoxo  
_

I sigh, a puff of air forming in front of me due to the chilly air. _Why the hell would she ask me to do this now? It's so late_. I just want to get home and go to bed, but I text back telling her _sure_.

"Stupid stores being open this late…" I mumble to myself, shoving my hands in my pockets, attempting to warm them up.

"Stan…" The thought of Stan instantly warms my whole body up and I'm wondering if I should tell him the feelings I'm having. That there's a possibility I like him more than a friend.

I notice there are barely any cars on the road, or anybody walking on the streets. Of course, this _is_ South Park after all. Nobody wants to be outside at this time of night with everything that has happened here in the past. The darkness surrounding me starts to frighten me a bit, and there aren't many stores around until I hit the main street.

After hearing some chatting coming from behind me, I decide to turn around to see a few guys not too far behind. My whole body shudders and I start to walk faster, feeling a bit nervous being alone.

"Agh…okay I wish I _was_ alone after all…" The talking behind me becomes louder and I can hear loud footsteps and all of a sudden I feel my arms being grabbed roughly by large hands.

Before my mind registers what's going on and before I can scream, something is being jammed in my mouth and taped so it stays in place.

"_Mhmpphh_…_mhm_…" I attempt to make some sort of noise, praying someone hears me, but I'm left all alone, being pulled into a dark alley with these men who I have no idea who they are or what they want with me.

"Shut the hell up, kid." I'm in too much of shock to feel any pain as I'm shoved on the ground, being kicked in the stomach by one of them, while the other two are still holding my arms, not allowing me to protect myself.

"Mmm…" I moan out in pain, tears finally falling freely down my cheeks. I take notice that all of them are wearing some types of masks so I can't see their true identity. Obviously they planned to do this to someone tonight and I was the only one around.

"If you don't stop making noise…" His deep voice growls, and I see him pull out a sharp blade, "I'm going to have to take this to the next step. You don't want me to use this, do you?"

The second I see the knife I start fearing for my life. I try to kick him off of me, but he's straddling me and I can't get a good kick in. He roughly pulls my pants and boxers down and it finally hits me on what he's going to do.

_He's going to rape me, I'm going to get raped and there's nothing I can do_, I cry to myself. Tears escape one after the other and I can't help but let out a few loud sobs.

The knife is pressed against my neck, and a moment later I can feel blood start to drip down my neck, but it doesn't feel like enough for me to die just from that. The blade against my skin starts to burn and a moan of pain leaves my throat. He then situates himself between my legs, spreading them roughly.

"Mmm, this is going to be fun." His voice, filled with lust is low and I shiver at the thought of this asshole taking my virginity.

"Would you just get on with it? We don't have all night."

"Shut up. Give me a minute."

He wastes no time in pulling his zipper down, pulling out his length and thrusting in to me. My body goes numb and I can't process what's happening. Pain courses through my whole body and I just want to scream, but I can't because the guy could jam the knife into me at any time.

I stare up into the covered face of the man who is thrusting in and out roughly, showing me no mercy. I start to wonder if he knows me or has something against me to want to do this to me.

"_God_, feels fucking great. Want to try him out?" He asks the other two, making me sound like I'm some sex object, used to satisfy their own pleasure.

"Hell no, you keep going. Just hurry up." One of the others says in a hushed voice.

I feel absolutely no pleasure and I feel my soft member just bounce around, waiting for this assault to be over. He ends up hitting my prostate, but even then I don't feel anything other than pain and humiliation. One of the other guys lets go of my arm and unbuttons my shirt, taking a nipple in his mouth, sucking roughly on it.

"Mmm…this part of you is pretty. Even if you're not a girl." He says before biting my nipple harshly.

After torturing my sensitive nipples, he then kneels beside my head, pulling out his own length, tugging on it a few times. He removes the gag from my mouth and I have a chance to scream, but again, I don't want to die and he can kill me any time with that knife. The third guy is kneeling by my head, holding my wrists tightly, not allowing me to move.

Even if he wasn't holding me, my body wouldn't be able to move on it's own. My body feels frozen, and I'm in so much pain that it won't function properly.

"_Suck_." His voice is harsh and serious, and I want nothing more than to bite it, to hurt him, but I know they'll just end up hurting me more if I don't co-operate. The tears are still endlessly coming down my face.

I stare at it for a second before sucking gently on the head before taking the whole thing into my mouth. I've never felt more humiliated than I do right now, and my pride is shattered to pieces. In the back of my mind, I'm wishing I did stay at Stan's house, then this wouldn't be happening. _Stan_. _Oh God, how was I ever going to face him again?_

I feel so alone, like the whole world is suddenly against me. I don't even feel the thrusting anymore, the pain around my ass, or the swollen member in my mouth. I just feel alone, and feel like somehow I deserved this.

"Ughh…" The guy releases his load into my mouth and I'm forced to swallow it. I almost gag at the taste, but I suck it up and finish the job. The man's thrusting becomes rougher and rougher as he grips my hips, leaning down to kiss my neck where the cut is, lapping up the blood.

"Unnnh…" Half-cry, half-sobs escapes my lips and I'm suddenly being punched in the face by the one who just made me give him a blowjob. My cheeks are burning from the contact and will probably leave a bruise.

"Shut the fuck up." He covers my mouth back up again, but this time with his hands. Finally, after what feels like forever, the man with his dick inside me finally comes and explodes inside of me. I shudder at the feeling of the warm liquid that is filling me up, and it is the grossest feeling I've ever experienced.

I wanted my first time to be gentle, and filled with love. With somebody I love. Like..._Stan_. Not with hate and lust with some _random_ guy.

"That was amazing. Wasn't it?" I close my eyes, not wanting to look at anything anymore but my eyes burst open when he slaps me a few times.

"_Wasn't it_?" He asks again and I force myself to nod my head, even though I feel like I want to die right now.

"Good." He leans down to shove his lips angrily against mine. His tongue forces it's way into my mouth and I feel like puking. There's a slight taste of alcohol on his lips. His lips leave quickly and he zips his pants back up, same with the other guy.

"Are you satisfied yet?" The one who didn't do anything to me asks quietly.

"Hell no, I may need to find someone else." He laughs evilly as they hurry off, leaving me on the cold ground with my pants around my ankles with semen and blood leaking out of me.

I'm left alone, tears still pouring down my cheeks and I wonder how I still have any left. The pain finally hits me and my ass feels like it's on fire, my jaw stinging from the huge dick I had forced into my mouth. I bring my hand up to see a bit of blood still coming from my neck before covering my face with both hands and I start to sob uncontrollably. My whole body feels cold, and I feel so dirty, like nothing can wash it off.

My body can't move and I feel like I lie there for ages, alternating between balling my eyes out and cursing angrily. My fingers clench furiously at my hair, pulling it in frustration.

"W-why…why didn't I just stay w-with Stan?" I whisper to myself, angry and hurt from everything that just happened.

The only thing I can be thankful for is that they didn't kill me. Still, I don't know what they had against me, the only thing I do know is they did their job, they took my innocence, my pride and they left me with nothing but shame. I manage to sit up, feeling slightly dizzy while attempting to pull my pants up but wincing at the pain and I let out a deep sigh, the tears finally drying on my cheeks. My whole body is in pain from being fucked, slapped, punched and cut with a knife.

"Ugh!" My hands fly up once again to cover my face, even though nobody is around, I feel like I need to hide.

There's a quick thought that passes through my mind, what am I going to tell my parents? _How do I tell them that a guy raped me? _I feel like I should blame my mom, for making me go to the store. But how would she know I would end up like this?_  
_

I sit in silence in the bitter cold, my legs feeling numb and my neck finally stopped bleeding. Heavy dizziness sets in from the blood loss, and I'm hoping I don't pass out. A sudden voice startles me and I jump, expecting to be hurt again.

"_Oh my God_, are you okay!"

...

Hope you guys liked the first chapter, and I will try to update as soon as possible. I am working two jobs so it may take a while for each chapter, it may not, I don't know. If you spot any spelling mistakes let me know! I despise errors! haha and i'm so tired I may not catch them all.

Thanks everyone who has supported my other fics and hope you will support this one as well! And yes it is a Style fic, who else would I write about?


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! So here's the second chapter. Sorry for the long wait and I hope you guys enjoy it! Please note any spelling mistakes, it's almost impossible to catch everything.

I would like to note that I wanted it to be realistic, but also wanted it to be like how it would be if it were an episode of South Park. I apologize if anyone has experienced sexual abuse before and this isn't realistic. I wanted to make the cop kind of stupid and slightly closed-minded about male rape(like South Park's cops would!).

I do not own South Park or the characters.

…

"_Oh my God_! Are you okay?"

At the sound of the sudden voice, I quickly turn my head and assume they're back for more. It takes me a moment to register that the messy blonde hair and shining blue eyes belong to someone familiar.

"K…Kenny? W-what are you d-doing here?" I manage to spit out, even though my face feels like it's on fire. He's with a girl whom I don't recognize. She has shoulder length dark brown hair and is wearing a uniform of some sort. Her hands are covered over her mouth, her eyes widened and she looks horrified at my condition.

I shift my body around, trying not to look obvious as to what just happened but my ass is burning and I bite my lip roughly to keep from making any noise.

"I was picking my girlfriend up from work. What the hell happened?" He rushes over worriedly, leaving his girlfriends side and kneels down beside me while placing both hands on my shoulders. I can see fear in his eyes when he notices the damage on my face.

"Nothing…nothing happened." I can tell that I'm not doing a good job convincing him and he trails a finger over the forming bruises on my face down to the cut on my neck.

"_Bullshit_. We saw three guys running down the street from this alleyway. Did they beat you up?" He leans in a bit to take a closer look at the cut with dried blood on my neck.

I stare at the ground, feeling ashamed. I can't tell him what actually happened, it's too embarrassing. I can only nod very subtly, hoping maybe he won't notice.

"S-shouldn't we try to catch them?" His girlfriend states, a noticeable quiver in her voice and it's the first sentence she's said since she's been here.

"Holy shit…" He says, ignoring her and his voice shaky, filled with concern, "They didn't…_rape_ you, did they?" For a moment my eyes widen in panic before I start to burst out into tears.

"Ken…don't…don't tell anyone. _Please_ don't." Before I know it, his arms are thrown around me in a tight embrace. I shake heavily at the touch, even if it is Kenny, I don't want to be touched. _It feels gross_.

_This is just horrible_. Kenny knows, and now his girlfriend who I don't know at all knows my embarrassing secret. My whole body heaves, and I feel like throwing up from what my body has been through.

"Kyle, this is serious. Come on, we're going to report it." His strong hands grip under my arms, hoisting me up to my feet.

"Kenny…no…" I whisper in a hushed tone, my heartbeat picking up speed. _No, we can't. The police will contact my parents_.

"You need to go report this, please, this is awful." His girlfriend rubs my back soothingly, her voice cracking as she tries to hold back tears as she looks at my current touch is cold to the touch so I shake it off, not wanting any physical contact.

"Oh…sorry. I guess it's weird since you don't know me." Her hands fold nervously behind her back. She uses her index finger to wipe away a stray tear that drips down her cheek.

"Oh…uh Kyle, this is my girlfriend, Sam. This is one of my closest friends, hun." She gives me a sweet kind smile but I just can't seem to give her one back. Smiling doesn't sound appealing to me. Not after what happened.

"Nice to meet you, but…this isn't the best time for introductions. We should call 911!" She tries to pull her phone out, her hands shaking but Kenny stops her before she can.

"No, the police station isn't too far...we can just report it there and then go to the hospital. Kyle, come on." I shake my head, wanting to tell them both to leave me alone but I can't seem to say anything.

They both grab my arms, and throw one over each of their shoulders to help me walk. The last thing I want to do is talk about what happened tonight._ I just want to go to sleep, to hide and never come out_.

Throughout the whole walk to the police station, I can hear Kenny swear under his breath. He's obviously upset at the fact I was raped, but he doesn't truly understand the pain. I debate on shaking them off, and just heading home but my body is too weak.

By the time we get to the station, my body feels like its shutting down and Kenny and Sam are the only things holding me up. We find a cop, leaning back in his chair with his hat over his face. There are a few other cops in the background, doing other work and not paying attention to us.

"Uh, sir?" Kenny questions to the almost asleep cop. He mumbles a bit before sitting up straight, trying to look like he wasn't sleeping on the job.

"What can I do for you?" The cop asks in a groggy voice, sounding kind of annoyed we bothered him.

"Uh…well..."Kenny looks at me, waiting to see if I will be the one explaining the story. "My friend…was assaulted…and raped..." I cringe at the word, and there's a hint of anger in his voice. The cop looks between the three of us before staring at me for a moment, observing my current state.

"What are you talking about? Are you serious?" Kenny and his girlfriend scoff in disgust and I'm too tired to really care what's being said.

"No, we just came in here this late at night to joke around. Of course we're serious!" Sam says in a horrified voice, obviously still shaken up from what she's seen.

"Sir, not to be rude but what the fuck? Can you not see the cuts, or the obvious distressed state my friend is in?" The cop glares at Kenny and slams his hands on the table roughly.

"Don't use that language when talking to me, kid. Listen, we've had reports of girls getting raped, but not once has there been a report about a boy getting raped by another boy. It's just something we've never heard of before here."

"Why would we bring him in, with obvious wounds and make it up?" Sam angrily shouts, her voice cracking and clearly insulted that he thinks we're making it up.

"I'm not saying you're making it up, but it's just a highly unlikely case. I can see the wounds, and yes you can report someone assaulting you, but I am just having a hard time believing someone would do that to this kid. Listen, a lot of girls call in, or come here reporting rapes and we know girls are targeted more, but I can't just believe out of the blue that a boy would be raped."

"This is unbelievable! We _saw_ the three guys run from the alleyway where Kyle was." Her voice goes higher in pitch and she throws the hand that isn't holding me up dramatically. I turn my head towards her, and she has an angry expression written on her face. It's nice she's sticking up for me, even though she doesn't know me...

"What is your problem, my friend here is a mess and all you can say is that? What the fuck? We _saw_ them. Are you saying you're not going to help us?" The cop warns Kenny to calm down and finally turns his attention on me.

"What an asshole…" I can hear Kenny mutter angrily under his breath. In any normal situation I would have laughed at him, but laughing seems impossible.

"Son, you haven't said one word. Were you sexually assaulted? Did you see who gave you those bruises and cuts?" Tears prick the corners of my eyes, almost daring to fall and I shake both Kenny's and Sam's arms off of me, almost falling in the process due to my tired form.

Kenny looks at me, silently begging me to tell the cop what happened. My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, before I finally manage to spit something out.

"Y-yeah, my friends aren't l-lying. I didn't see them though, they we-were wearing masks." My voice is low and I can feel my throat closing up from the amount of physical stress I've been through. "I c-can't really tell you anything more..." I cover my face with one hand and feel Kenny rub my back, pulling me closer to his warm body and I'm too tired to push him away.

"Well listen, why don't you go to the hospital, have some tests done and then come back here. Having tests done will help us investigate. Listen, was it...Kyle?" I nod my head tiredly, "I'm not trying to insult you or say you're making it up, it's just hard for me to believe it. Not once has it happened in this town. I would like you to get checked out physically. You don't look well." This is the first time his voice has a hint of concern since the time we got here. "The minute you come back with results we will do a search. And in the meantime we will watch out for masked men. I promise."

"_Fine_, Kyle I'm sure if you have tests done there will be some DNA that could lead to who did this. I assume the one who raped you didn't wear a condom? Or I'm sure they touched your bare skin, right?" I groan, shivering at the memory of his semen pulsing into me and his frigid hands running along my body.

"Kenny, stop…n-no…I just want to go home. Thank you officer, but just leave it alone." I turn around and head back outside, not waiting to hear a response. My legs feel like jelly, and I almost fall numerous times but I manage to use all my strength to stay standing.

"Kyle! What the hell? Don't you want to find out who did this to you? We _can_ find them!" He attempts to grab my arm but I hastily shake his touch off. I look back at him to see Sam trotting along behind him, her eyes holding worry.

"Ken…I appreciate everything, I just want to go home…" I lift a hand to gently touch the bruises on my face, "It's been a long night…"

"Bu-" I cut him off quickly before he can protest anymore.

"No…I hate them for w-what they did…but I was j-just there at the w-wrong time…I doubt it was anything personal against m-me…" Tears are flowing down my cheeks, but I don't care. _I don't care about anything_. _Why should I?_

Kenny brings his index finger to wipe away some of the tears dripping down but I grab his wrist and throw his hand away.

"Don't touch me…" He looks hurt for a moment, his gaze fixated on the ground. There's an awkward moment between the three of us, and Sam lets out a cough to break the silence. Before I know it, Kenny is talking again to me about going back.

I limp lazily along the sidewalk, ignoring Kenny's continuous protest to go to the hospital. Kenny doesn't understand that the last thing I want to do is talk about this. _He's just trying to help_, I tell myself and I'm thankful to have a friend like him.

"Kenny, _stop it_." I hiss out angrily, and thankfully he finally shuts his mouth. I've reached my breaking point and I can't take it anymore.

Kenny and Sam follow behind me, making sure I get home safely and they keep quiet the rest of the time, which I'm thankful for. When we finally get to my house, I turn around to face them, my head down in shame.

"Thank you f-for everything…but please don't tell anyone. Kenny…don't tell Stan." My fingers hastily run over the cut on my neck, cringing at the slight pain.

"But Stan should know…he's your best friend." One of Kenny's shaking hands reaches out to touch my shoulder in a comforting matter but he pulls it away when he sees how uncomfortable I am.

"He just…can't know, Kenny. I know you d-don't understand it…b-but please respect my wishes…" Kenny looks baffled at my request for Stan not to know, probably because I tell Stan everything but he nods his head anyways.

"You know...Kyle..." I look at Sam, who is reaching for Kenny's hand hastily. "I had a good friend...who was sexually assaulted, too...it was hard for me to see her go through it...She didn't report it at all...it was hard for her to try to manage life after it happened, I helped her any way I could and had to basically force her to talk to a Psychiatrist...it helped her a lot and now she can live her life to the fullest...just...think about telling your best friend...and family, they need to help you through this..."

She's pretty much in tears by the end of her speech and Kenny wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close to comfort her. I'm surprised that she told me all of this, seeing as she just met me. But i guess she's like any person, wanting to help someone who has been through an awful experience. Sam's eyes meet mine, and I nod to her, silently thanking her for sharing her story.

_Stan can't know_. I don't want him to think of me as weak or pathetic who can't defend himself, and if he finds out what happened he might not speak to me again, even if it wasn't my fault.

"Thank you guys...bye…nice to meet you…" I give Sam a quick wave, not bothering to smile. I'm sure she understands. There's nothing worth smiling over.

I step inside, taking in every ounce of warmth surrounding my body. The outside of my body has finally warmed up, but my insides are still freezing, like they'll never warm up. I grab a blanket and wrap it around myself, hoping it would help but it fails.

"Kyle!" My moms voice startles me, and like everything else, reminds me of the night I've been through. I bring the blanket up to cover the cut on my neck.

"Where have you been?" She quickly comes down the stairs and engulfs me in a tight hug. "You said you left Stan's a while ago!" Concern fills her voice as her eyes are glossy, almost in tears.

"Oh, nothing happened…Are dad and I-Ike still in bed?" I ask, trying to sound like I normally would.

"Yes, nothing would wake them up…Bubbalah, your face! What happened?" Her chilly hands yank my head closer to her so she can observe my damaged face. I cling harder to the blanket so the cut remains covered. I wouldn't be able to make an excuse for it.

"I stayed at Stan's a little longer…and I tripped on my w-way home. I was texting while walking…I was just being clumsy." She heaves out a loud sigh, taking a breath of relief. _If only she knew what really happened…_

"Oh, well, you worried both your father and I…well I'm off to bed once again, you should go, too." She gives me a tender kiss on my forehead and I flinch slightly. Tears burn in my eyes at the fact I'm even scared of my own mothers touch.

"N-night mom…" The moment she's out of view, I burst out in tears and fall down to the floor, trying to ignore the pain in my backside.

_Ugh, why did this happen to me? What if my life is never the same again? I just want things to go back to normal, like tonight never happened_.

I turn the lights off and head up to my bedroom, trying to be silent as possible so I don't wake Ike or my dad up. I quietly close my door and immediately hop onto my bed, cocooning myself in my blankets.

I feel the need to hide from the world and I close my eyes, hoping sleep would overcome me. However, I have way too many thoughts going through my mind. My ass and face are burning, and I pray that Kenny doesn't say a word to anybody.

I've lost the amount of time that I've been shivering, tears running down my cheeks constantly. I heave a groan of discomfort from the amount of physical damage my body has taken tonight. In the back of my mind, I remember Sam's speech. Would it really be best to tell my parents, or Stan? _What if they leave me alone? I don't want to be alone._

I finally succumb to sleep, allowing it to take over my body. The last thought to fill my mind is how I'm going to find an excuse to not go to school tomorrow. I can't go, I just can't face anybody. _Not yet_.

…

Sorry that it's such a boring chapter. I promise it'll get more exciting. I had to focus on them finding Kyle and the whole police scene. A lot of victims don't report it, but I thought for Kyle, his good friend Kenny would want him to immediately! And I wanted to get Kyle's emotions, that he doesn't want to report it and just be alone (like most victims)

And for the 'boys don't get raped as much as girls', It is true, but I totally do understand guys can go through it as well. Please no negative reviews, I do appreciate constructive criticism, but NICE as well. Nobody likes to be told their stories are bad. I may not have knowledge of sexual abuse, but it is a serious crime and I truly believe in reporting them if you've experienced it. I chose to have them go to the station for a longer scene instead of having them just call.

Thank you to WxTxR, Animebaka14, Symphknot, Juliannarox, Aamandapalmer & ObanesHarvest for the reviews! You guys are awesome. I also would like to thank anyone who added this story to their favorites and anyone who read it!

Next chapter will be Stan's POV. I wanted it all in Kyle's POV but I wanted Stan's emotions showed as well.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to everybody reviewing this story! I would like to apologize for the long wait. I've been quite busy lately but plan to update more often from now on :)

I would like to ask anyone reading to please leave no negative feedback. Constructive criticism is fine, but leaving negative reviews is simply rude. Don't like it? Don't review or read. Please take this story seriously as it addresses serious topics. And again i'm trying to write it as realistically as possible, but keeping in mind it is still a South Park fic.

Please do excuse any spelling mistakes, and let me know if you spot one and I'll fix it immediately. I can't stand spelling mistakes!

I do not own South Park or the characters. They belong to the creators of the show.

...

I lean forward, looking past a few other students only to notice my best friend missing from his seat again. This is the fifth day in a row that he's missed school. He never misses school unless he has a very good reason. I didn't even hear from him on the weekend.

My eyes wander over to Kenny to see him practically drooling over the teacher's little bit of cleavage popping from her blouse. _I wonder if he's heard from Kyle?_ I've noticed Kenny looking upset lately, and checking his phone more often than usual. I've tried texting Kyle a few times, but haven't heard back from him yet. And I've called his house only to have his mother tell me he isn't feeling well. Every time I ask, I hear concern and confusion shrouded in her voice, as if she has no idea what's really going on.

The bell rings shrilly, students sighing in relief that class is over. I quickly grab my phone, sending Kyle a text before rushing over to Kenny to grab his arm, forcing him to face me. His eyes meet mine for a split second before he suddenly focuses on something behind me.

"Dude, have you heard from Kyle lately?" He pulls his arm away from my grip, his eyes avoiding mine completely. His crystal blue eyes move to the ground as he speaks up.

"Uh…no, man. I mean I've called but his mom tells me he's sick." Kenny says in an unusually quiet voice, which is so unlike him.

"Or maybe he's finally realized that being a Jew does suck and that we _hate_ him." I feel a flabby arm wrap around my shoulder. "Right, Stan?" I shake his arm off and attempt to push him away, but failing, seeing as he's a fucking cow.

"Cartman, fuck off. That's not funny. I'm worried about him. Why don't we go see him today after school?"

"Stan, if his mom says he's sick, lets just leave him alone, to….you know, rest and stuff." Kenny pipes in. He crosses his arms, books held against his chest as he leans back against the wall, eyes wandering over to the teacher at her desk.

"Yeah and I wouldn't go visit that fag if you paid me." Cartman mumbles under his breath, but I ignore his irrelevant statement.

"Kenny, we're his friends. We're going after school to visit him. You too, Cartman." I ignore his groan of protest and I am about to leave the classroom when an arm links around mine. Frazzled, my head darts over to stare into the chocolate brown eyes of my girlfriend.

"Babe, I just overheard you guys talking about Kyle being sick. What's wrong with him?" I lean down to plant a soft kiss on her forehead, taking in her overwhelming perfume scent.

"We don't know. We're going to see him after school today." I motion towards Kenny and Cartman, trying to not pay attention to Cartman who is currently flipping me off.

"Can I come along, too?" She runs her fingers daintily along my arm, making me shiver slightly.

"What? Really? I didn't think you and Kyle got along well…I mean…_of course_ you can come, though."

"Kyle's your best friend, so of course I like him." Wendy tries to sound convincing but something tells me she's just putting on the act of liking him.

"Oh, okay, well yeah. You should come along then." She squeals loudly and gives me a swift kiss on the lips before prancing out of the classroom, her skirt flipping up slightly as she runs. I notice Cartman's gaze follow her while she leaves, watching her closely.

"_Bitch_." He whispers when he notices me watching him, probably hoping I didn't catch what he was just doing.

"Fuck off Cartman. My girlfriend is not a bitch. At least she cares enough to go see him."

"Stan, I still don't think it's a good idea." Kenny claims, tightening his hold on his books slightly, knuckles turning white.

"Poor boy is right. Kyle sucks, going near him is never a good idea." Cartman's voice shows no signs of concern, only disgust. There's nothing to do but ignore him and roll my eyes at the fat piece of shit.

"Boys, please leave the classroom. The next class will be starting soon." The teacher says in an attempted kind voice, but you can tell she's slightly annoyed at us for being the only ones left in the classroom.

"God, another bitch." Cartman curses through his teeth but runs out of the classroom, frightened like a dog with it's tail between it's legs when the teacher gives him a menacing look.

"Stan..."

"_We're going_. That's it." I cut him off, knowing what he's about to say. I leave him quickly so he can't say anymore. My eyes lower in anger, and tears sting my eyes. _How could neither of them care about him?_ Whatever, we're going to see him after school and I don't care what they say.

…

So many things are running through my mind, mostly about Kyle. _Why does his mom sound like she's disoriented about the whole thing, or why hasn't he responded to my texts? He's been sick before and he's always responded_.

It's the last class of the day and all I can do is stare at the empty seat beside mine. Usually in last class, Kyle and I always seem to cause trouble for the teacher. Whether it's texting each other while we're sitting next to each other, throwing things or purposely answering the questions with stupid responses.

For the most part it's usually me causing the trouble, but it makes Kyle laugh. And Kyle has the most gorgeous smile, so I would do anything to make him happy. I never really knew how much he meant to me, but after a week of not seeing him, I'll admit I miss him like crazy. _Oh God, that sounded extremely gay_, I think to myself.

"Stanley, are you paying attention?" The teachers booming voice shakes me from my thoughts. I bury my face in my hands at the use of my whole name. Only my mom uses my name like that, even though she knows I can't stand it.

"Ughh, _please_ don't call me that. And…sure I was paying attention." She practically glares daggers at me with her hands flat out on my desk, veins showing through her slightly wrinkly skin.

"Then what is the answer to the question I just asked?" Out of the corner of my eye I can see all of the students staring at me, waiting for me to answer.

"Ummm…54?" A few quiet giggles are heard throughout the quiet classroom.

"_Stanley_," I shudder at the use of my full name again, "This is English class, _not_ Math." _Oops, my bad_.

"Oh…then I guess I wasn't paying attention. Sorry." I turn to see a few students giving me a thumbs up, still trying to stifle their laughs.

"I'm not going to tell you again, listen when you're in class. You can daydream later." I nod along at her little lecture, waiting until she turns around to sink further back in my seat, feeling humiliated.

If Kyle were here, he would be laughing at my stupidity right now, and I wouldn't mind. But now I actually do feel dumb with people laughing at me. I really wish Kyle were here, school is even more boring without him. I pick up the textbook we're reading from, trying to follow along but only failing when my mind instantly goes back to Kyle.

I take a quick glance at my phone, hoping to see a response from him from this morning, but I have no new messages. _What was I hoping for? I've been texting him all week_. I hastily shove my phone back into my pocket when I see the teacher look in my direction, eyes peering over her book to see if I'm following along.

This is going to be an extremely long class..

…

"Hey dudes! Ready to go?" I ask when I meet up with Cartman, Kenny and Wendy, backpack over my shoulder and ready to go see my super best friend.

"Stan, why don't we just call him tomorrow or something? I think we should leave him alone." I'm about to take a step when Kenny grabs the strap of my bag, holding me in place. I swat his hand away from me and raise my eyebrow at him, puzzled at his dismissing Kyle's illness.

"Why don't you want to go see him? Are you hiding something from me?" He waves his hands defensively, eyes growing twice in size.

"No! I just…I don't want to catch whatever he has." He says, while turning away from me as if he is hiding something. Just as I'm about to say something to him, Cartman decides to throw in another unintelligent statement.

"Yeah, we don't want to catch his Jewishness." He huffs, kicking angrily at the snow while glaring at me, obviously mad for me making him come with us.

"Are you _kidding_ me, Cartman? _Please_ tell me you're joking." Wendy asks, clearly disgusted by his stupidity, as we all are. Wendy's soft hand envelops mine and she tugs me closer to her body.

"Go to hell you stupid hoe." He hisses, kicking snow in her direction. Her hand leaves mine as she hurriedly ties her hair in a ponytail.

"Fuck you, fatass." She takes a step closer to him, ready to hit him but Tweek and Butters step in between them, hands nervously folded behind them.

"H-heya fella's, Wendy told us Kyle's been sick, so we would like to go with you to see him." Butters exclaims, but not in his usually cheerful voice. My eyes widen at the concern in his voice and I can't help but smile at the kindness.

"Y-yeah, Kyle's…ah, ngh…been a great friend to us…so we want to go see h-him." Tweek adds in, pulling his hair uneasily as he speaks.

"I never told you guys about that." She says, flipping her bangs out from her face. _Of course she told everybody, she can't keep anything to herself_.

"Well you were talking to the other girls…loudly and we overheard." Cartman is about to say something again but I cut him off before another dispute happens.

"That'd be great you guys. I'm sure Kyle can't wait to see everyone." I wrap my arms around Butters and Tweek's shoulder in a friendly gesture.

As we all walk towards Kyle's house, Wendy must have noticed me thinking about him because she grabs my hand harder, trying to gain my attention. She nuzzles her face against my shoulder in a clingy fashion. As much as I love Wendy, she can be extremely clingy and it can quite annoying. Not that I would ever say anything of course. She can be kind at times, but unfortunately now it seems like she's just pretending to care.

"He'll be alright." She tries to tell me in a reassuring, calm voice. Her fingers stroke my hands gently and I immensely enjoy the softness of her skin against mine.

"I hope so…" I say, mostly trying to reassure myself.

I look behind us to see Kenny staring at the ground, looking focused on something and Cartman trudging along, not really caring about going to Kyle's at all while Butters and Tweek chat mindlessly to each other. _What great friends Kyle has_, I think to myself. At least Kyle and I have each other. I think that's all that matter.

The walk to Kyle's seems like it's taking forever, and when we finally reach his house, his mother answers the door and her mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. She seems shocked to see us standing on her doorstep, especially Cartman. A moment passes before a compassionate smile takes over her bewildered expression.

"Hi Mrs. Broflovski, we're here to see Kyle. May we come in?" I ask, seeing as no one else is saying anything. I can see Cartman out of the corner of my eyes huffing in annoyance.

"Hello boys, Wendy…sure, just be careful around him. We're not sure what's going on. My poor bubbalah, he hasn't said much to me since Thursday night."

_Thursday night?_ That's the night he was over at my house and walked home. Maybe he caught a bad virus walking in the freezing cold?_ I knew I should have made him stay over or had someone drive him home_, I curse myself. If all of this is my fault I'll never be able to forgive myself.

"Wait, he's barely spoken to you?" I ask, my voice shaking slightly, just processing what his mother has said.

"Stan, he's sick…of course he's not going to talk." Kenny responds immediately, grabbing desperately at my jacket.

"Well he's barely eating anything and he seems to be depressed. Maybe he's suffering from depression? Oh my poor bubbalah. I feel like a bad mother for not knowing what's wrong."

"That seems awfully random for him to become like that so quickly and out of nowhere." My finger automatically comes up to my mouth and I begin nibbling on it nervously.

"Well you boys should go see him, maybe seeing his friends will cheer him up." Her voice is desperate

"Thank you." We all say to her, passing her and making our way to his bedroom. My heart starts beating ridiculously fast as we approach. _What if there is something seriously wrong with him? _Suddenly a few memories of the past run through my mind. Like when he had those bad hemorrhoids, the kidney transplant he needed or when he had that diabetic attack a few years ago. I couldn't handle losing him, if he ever died on me I don't think I would know what to do with myself.

"Kyle?" I knock on the door, jumping when Kenny grabs my hand that is resting on the door handle.

"Stan, there's something I need to tell you…" I ignore him, brush him off as the door slowly opens. Wendy, Tweek, Butters and Kenny all huddle around as we step into the darkness. Something in the air is telling me something isn't right.

"K-Kyle?" The big lump on the bed moves around, and the covers are suddenly thrown off, revealing a flustered Kyle.

"Wh-what the hell are you guys doing here?" His voice is hoarse and I take a step closer to my best friend. It isn't until someone turns the lights on that I notice his face is a bright red, his eyes are bloodshot and I can see his body shaking madly. I've never seen him like this before. I'm stunned that nobody is noticing, that they seem to think it is illness.

"We wanted to come see you Kyle. We've missed you at school." I can barely hear Butter's voice over the loud thump of my heart pounding in my chest.

"Yeah you're mom said you've been feeling sick." Wendy adds in, paying more attention to me than Kyle as she strokes my arm, even though I give her none of my attention.

"I could fucking care less about seeing you Jew boy." Cartman snickers to himself as he stays in the corner, as far away from Kyle as possible.

"I…told my mom to not let anyone in." He mumbles to himself into his bedsheets, but I manage to catch it. "Thank you guys, but please go away." His voice is extremely shaken, cracking with every word like something traumatic has happened.

"Don't need to ask me twice, Jew." Cartman waves him off and leaves the room, snickering to himself as he wobbles away.

"But Kyle…we just wanted to see you. Why don't you….ahhn…nghh…want us here?"

"Guys, just go away! I'll see you at school sometime." Kyle's voice is still quiet, even while obviously trying to be blunt with us. I glance over at Kenny, who hasn't said anything yet and now I know he knows something.

"Kyle, what the _hell_ is going on?" I watch as Kyle flinches at the sound of my voice. He hides his face behind his sheets, not allowing us to look at him anymore. I continue to stare at him harshly, but he never once meets my gaze. He hasn't made eye contact with any of us since we entered his room.

"Guys, let's just go…" Kenny quietly murmurs and everyone is quiet for a moment before agreeing and walking out, but not before saying a quick goodbye, wishing him to feel better soon.

"Wait! Fucking hold on a second. Kenny, you stay here!" Kenny stops in his tracks, but turns around slowly, facing me. Wendy comes back in when she realizes I'm not with her.

"Stan, come on. He said to leave him alone." She whines while yanking on my arm impatiently, but I stand my ground.

"No, you go on ahead. I want to talk to him." Wendy says nothing but rolls her eyes, obviously not liking me not listening to her demands. I wait until she leaves before saying anything more.

"Kyle, _please_ tell me what's going on. There's no way you can just be sick. Kenny, you know something don't you?" The silence between the three of us proves that I'm right, that he does know something.

Kenny looks over at Kyle and their eyes meet for a split second before Kyle looks in my direction. Did something happen between the two of them? Or was it maybe something I did to Kyle that I don't know about?

_Why can Kyle look Kenny in the eyes but not me? I thought we were best friends…super best friends._

"Stan…I can't…just…leave me alone. You, too…Kenny." Kyle spits out before bursting into tears. I can't watch this anymore, I have to do something. Never in my life have I seen my best friend this upset, and it's killing me.

I rush over to the side of his bed and throw my arms around him, pulling him close to me. There's a moment where he tries to struggle out of my grasp before he ends up clutching my back with shaking fingers.

"Kyle…please…" I try to fight back tears from escaping my eyes, but to no avail they end up falling anyway. "You're my best friend…I'm worried about you…Please tell me what's going on…was it something I did?"

Kyle's fingers tighten in response and he continues to cry against my chest. I look over at Kenny, who motions for me to come over. I hesitantly let go of Kyle, who instantly crawls up on his bed, bawling his eyes out into his pillow.

"Out in the hall…" I nod and follow him out, my eyes glancing back at Kyle before he's out of my sight. My heart continues to bang deafeningly, waiting for an explanation.

"Something…um, he should be the one to tell you exactly what happened…but something…happened to him." He leans forward and whispers the last part in my ear. His eyes are filled with sorrow, tears forming in his usually cheerful eyes.

The moment those words leave his lips, I rush back into Kyle's room, running back to my previous position with my arms around him, making him sit up again. His fingers don't clutch at me this time, they only try to push me away. I can feel my shoulder become drenched with tears, but that's the last thing on my mind to care about.

_What happened to make him like this?_ We've hugged before and he's never tried to push me away from the friendly contact. And for the most part it's him who initiates our hugs anyway.

"Stan! Please…_d-don't_!" His voice is rough, protesting into my ear. There's terror in his voice, terror in those shaking hands of his.

He continues to scramble, attempting to get me off of him. My arms keep an iron grip around him, not allowing him to budge at all. There's no way I can't let him go. Thoughts of what Kenny said go through my mind. _What did he mean that something happened to him?_

"Stan! Don't touch me…let me _go_!" I ignore him, only pulling him closer to my chest. I twirl my head around to see Kenny watching this scene unfold before him. Tears fall from his eyes, and I all I feel is anger towards him. For not telling me any of this earlier.

"Kyle, what the _fuck_ happened?" Kyle's hands bang at my chest, one after the other.

After a moment I decide to let him go, but take his face between my hands so he's forced to look at my face. His eyes finally meet mine and my heart drops at the fact it's not really Kyle I'm looking at. There's no life in his eyes, he's completely empty.

He's become a shell of a person, not the Kyle I know. He grips my wrists, hands still shaking but now not making an effort to push me away but making no attempt to pull me closer.

"Stan…

...

So I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I tried to lighten it up with a few things in this chapter, but still keep it dramatic and keep in mind it is a rape fic.

Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter!

**Abcfailure** - Here is the update ;)  
**Dark Neko 4000**- You'll find out the answers soon enough!  
**Symphknot** - Thank you! I know, poor Kyle. It'll all be alright though in time!  
**Rin Neko23**- Thank you! I always worry about portraying emotions, glad to know I've done alright! Oh and here's the update, enjoy!  
**Jaye** - Hell no, rape is definitely not sexy. I always respect people and how they write their own things, but don't like when they think these kinds of things are sexy. Thank you though!  
**PenguinTimes** - Thank you so much! I never like negative reviews, but glad to hear you've enjoyed it so far! I hope you keep reading :)  
**lil joker 1989** - Aw I know, it is sad but things will get better!  
**Darkslayer18** - Yeah I can't wait to write Stan's reaction and hope you will keep reading, glad you're liking it!  
**'Guest'** - Haha will do, here's some more!  
**EquinoXXUke** - Oh wow! Thanks a lot, glad you're enjoying it :)  
**I-AIN'T-GONNA-TELL-YOU-MY-NAME** - Oh I definitely know it happens to boys as well. I was just pointing out it does technically happen to girls more often. I do know what you're saying though. But hey, it's also South Park so who knows what goes on. Thank you very much, glad to know you'll keep reading :) (Like your pen name by the way aha)

SO thanks to all of you! And to those who have added this to their favs as well! :) I really appreciate the positive reviews! They definitely keep me going. Hope you all keep reading! Leave me a nice review if you want to, if not, then that's alright, just enjoy!

Oh also, I'm working a cute/slightly sexy Style picture so when it's all done I'll let you guys know and you can check it out if ya want!

:)


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone, thanks for supporting this story! I do hope you enjoy. Let me know if you spot a spelling mistake. I really hate spelling words incorrectly! No flames, please.

I don't own the characters or the show, they belong to the creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

...

"Stan…"

"Kyle…w-what happened? Please...tell me what's going on." My voice comes out thick like there's peanut butter stuck on the roof of my mouth, desperate to hear him explain. I stare into his crimson, bloodshot eyes but he avoids my gaze. My shaking fingers stroke his rosy cheeks, hoping to calm him down but he doesn't really react. "_Please_ tell me..." I ask, almost like I'm begging.

"I can't!" He slaps me roughly on the cheek unexpectedly and pushes me away violently, causing me to tumble to the ground. I raise my hand to my cheek, wincing slightly at the new burning sensation.

"For fuck sake's, Kyle! _Tell me_!" I don't even realize how loud I shout until he starts to cry harder, shivering at the exasperation in my voice.

I stand up so I'm beside him and reach out to caress his back but he slaps my hand away before I can touch him. _Oh God, why the hell did I just yell at my best friend?_ Obviously something's wrong, I didn't need to raise my voice at him. My hand falls away from him as I cast my eyes downward to the ground, listening to him mumbling words under his staggering breath.

"Kyle…I'm _so_ sorry." My heart breaks at the fact I just hollered at him and now he seems petrified of me. As I'm about to sit back down next to him, Kenny's voice suddenly joins in.

"You're going to have to tell him, Kyle…you're just going to worry about him more if you don't." Kenny says while grabbing my shoulder, pulling me away from Kyle a bit. Kenny has just been watching this whole scene until now, and it's the first thing he's said in a few minutes.

"Ken, if he doesn't tell me, you're going to have to tell me." He takes a moment to look at Kyle, who isn't looking at either of us before looking up into my eyes, nodding at me. Kyle makes no attempt to stop Kenny from saying anything.

"Stan, the other night…when Kyle left your house…" He swallows loudly, tears abruptly falling down his cheeks onto his lips and on his clothes while continuing, "He was attacked by three guys…a-and…" I feel my eyes grow twice in size as I listen to him continue, "And he…ended up getting assaulted..."and ended up getting...quite a bad cut on his neck..."

It feels like my heart basically stops in my chest, and I feel my mouth drop open in shock. _K-Kyle was assaulted? _So this _is_ my entire fault for letting him walk home that night. I let this happen to my best friend.

"But…that's not all…uh…" I grab his shoulders roughly, shaking him for him to continue. I almost push him away and run over to Kyle, but I look over at him, and he clearly seems to still be upset with me yelling at him. _This would explain why_…_now everything is making sense. Him not coming to school and not answering anyone's texts..._

"Kenny! What else happened?" My eyes keep a close eye on Kyle, who seems to be listening, but I don't really know if he can hear us over his wailing.

"Um…Stan…they also…uhh…" His fingers fiddle together, clearly torn up at what he's about to tell me. His eyes pierce mine, and I suddenly have a feeling I know what he's about to say.

"Raped me…" The sheets mumble the words, but I still understood Kyle's muffled voice. The three of us don't say anything, and the only noise in the room is Kyle's loud sniffling.

"W-what?" I ask, confused as to whether or not he's being serious or not. I can barely hear my own voice, like I'm in a completely different world.

"Th-they raped me, Stan…I was forced by them…" He sits up, resting his forehead on his folded knees, hands clutching the sheets desperately. I stare at Kenny, watching him nod slowly to confirm that this is all true. _R-raped? But Kyle's a guy...I don't understand. That means they would have had to..._I shiver in disgust at the thought of that happening to him.

"Ken…you _knew_ this? How did you find out? _When_?" Questions come out one after the other, wanting answers.

"That Thursday night…I was walking home with my girlfriend and found him in an alleyway…" He takes a seat on the end of Kyle's bed, hands folded on his lap.

"Wait, you have a girlfriend?...No! This isn't what it's about…" I say, mostly to myself. My thoughts are clouded with anger, and concern for my best friend's health.

"Stan...calm down." As he gets up from the bed he touches my shoulder tenderly but all I can do is look at him in awe.

I don't even know what happens when my body reacts on my own, my fist making contact with Kenny's cheek. He lands on the ground with a loud thump and writhes around in pain.

"Stan! What the hell was that for? I'm just trying to help!" He shouts, grabbing where I hit with his hand, wiping away the little trail of blood. The sight of blood doesn't even gross me out, I'm way too angry to even care.

"You _asshole_! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Kyle is barely moving on the bed and doesn't say anything to the scene happening in his room.

"Because it's not my place to say anything!" He jumps up quickly, pushing me roughly on the chest, making me stumble back a bit. The contact causes me to lose my breath for a second before I quickly catch it and end up pushing him back. The both of us are clearly concerned for Kyle and we're not thinking straight.

"He's my best friend! You know that! You should have said something…" I wipe at the unexpected streams of tears flowing down my cheeks with the back of my hand, realizing that my whole body is shaking. I don't cry easily and now it's almost impossible to stop.

"Stan…" I turn around, not paying any more attention to him and rush to Kyle's side, sitting beside him on the bed. My vision blurry, my body feeling very weak all of a sudden but I attempt to stay strong for him.

"Kyle, I am so _so_ sorry for getting angry with you…why didn't you say anything?" I just want to take him into my arms and tell him it's going to be okay, but I get the sense he doesn't want to be touched by anyone, especially by me right now. _What kind of best friend am I? I yelled at him without knowing anything…_

"D-do you have any idea…h-how embarrassed I am…how ashamed I f-feel?" He stumbles on his words, barely able to make out sentences because of how hurt he is.

"Kyle, we're _best friends_, I just want to help you…to make you happy, I would never put you down for anything that happens." I turn around to Kenny, motioning to him with my hand to leave us alone. He looks hesitant for a moment, but nods and leaves, taking one last glance at us before disappearing from the room.

"I couldn't…I just couldn't tell y-you…" He raises his head and looks me dead in the eyes with his own puffy, crimson eyes and I can't take it anymore. I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms tightly around him. He makes no effort in returning the gesture, but I don't mind.

"Why not?" I choke out, trying not to cry anymore than I already am. His body heaves as he sobs into my shoulder.

"I-I didn't want…y-you…" I pull back, tipping his head up to find him with his eyes shut tightly, tears leaking out from the corners, but once again he swats my hand away. "I didn't want you to think any less of m-me…" _H-he was thinking of me the whole time?_

"Kyle, I wouldn't think any less of you no matter what. These are the things I'm here for. That's what all of your friends are for..." I move my hand to his neck, pulling away the fabric of his shirt to reveal a rather large cut on his neck, now slowly turning to a scar. I almost storm out of his room to hunt down the assholes that did this to him.

"B-but…I s-should have been able to protect myself…" His ghostly white hands cover his devastated face, hiding his shame, feeling like every last inch of his pride has disappeared. "It's my f-fault for being so...damn _weak_..."

"No buts…nobody can protect themselves in those situations…they could have killed you…I'm so glad you're alright…and it's _not_ your fault, it's the assholes who did this to you...it's their fault!" We sit in silence, I stare at his broken form while he slowly removes his hands from his face so he can stare at his bed sheets, clearly exhausted from everything.

"I know…I know you're feeling terrible…about yourself, like you should have been able to prevent it…but you couldn't have. Things happen, but…you're going to be okay. You're strong, Kyle…you can get through this. I'm going to make sure of it." I'm hoping my encouragement can make him feel slightly better, but his tears keep coming.

I move off of his bed to pace back and fourth, trying to think of more to say to him, so I can attempt to help him through this. I know this isn't going to be easy, and I know that he's going to be a completely different person from now on. He has to start trusting people again...that he isn't to blame for any of this.

"You c-can't tell anyone." His voice cracks as he whispers so quietly that I can barely hear him.

"Kyle! You _have_ to tell somebody! You need help! What about your parents? Why didn't you go to the hospital? Kenny found you right?" I fire multiple questions at him, wanting an explanation for everything.

"Stan…I can't tell anyone yet…I-I'm scared to tell people…I didn't even want you to know, but K-Kenny insisted on telling you, but…I'm too tired to c-care right now…yeah he found me, his girlfriend, too…" He stops to take a deep breath in between hiccuping, "And they took me to the police station…and wanted to take me to the hospital, but I told them no…I just couldn't do it."

"Kyle! This is serious! You need to go get checked out, they could catch who did this!" I should worriedly at his unwillingness to help himself. I plop myself down beside him, watching as his fingers slowly grip my shirt.

"Don't say anymore…I'm a-asking you…as my best friend…to just keep this to yourself…I n-need time…for myself…I'll tell them when I'm ready…" He reaches up to wipe away the few stray tears with the back of his hand.

I'm very hesitant at his request to keep this to myself, seeing as this is affecting him greatly. But he is my best friend and he's begging me to stay silent, so I'm going to obey him. For now anyway. He can't keep this a secret forever...I won't let him.

"_Fine_…for you, I won't say a word. But please…_please_, talk to me whenever you need to. I want to do everything I can for you…and if you don't tell them soon…someone is going to have to." Both of us sit on the bed, not saying another word. I listen to his sniffling, still devastated at the news I've just discovered.

I look over at him, to find him staring blankly at his bed still, fingers fiddling nervously and anxiously against the sheets. My brain is trying to process everything and I'm wishing this were a dream. _I don't like seeing my best friend like this, it's destroying me. Our friendship could be affected because of some assholes who have their own issues decided to take it out on Kyle.  
_

"Anyways…I should go…I…will just leave you alone. I know you probably don't want anyone around." As I'm about to stand up, his hand grips my arm loosely, pulling me back down. I stare dumbfounded at him that he's actually making contact with me, but noticing he still won't make eye contact me.

"Stay…_please_ stay with me…d-don't leave me alone." He starts to sob once again, voice trembling. A smile attempts to form on my face, but it's hard to be happy at a time like this.

I lie on my back and he maneuvers himself so he's lying on his side, pressed up against my body, with his hands gripping my shirt frantically. At first he didn't want anyone to touch him, now he seems to be desperate from somebody he can rely on. I told him I would be here for him whenever he needs me, and clearly he needs me right now.

While I am happy he's decided to trust me, to make contact with me after what happened, I feel depressed at the fact he even has to be like this in the first place. _What did Kyle do to deserve this?_

I mentally slap myself, screaming in my head that if only I had made him stay at my house that night…that maybe this wouldn't have happened. I let this happen to him…my best friend got hurt because I didn't look after him. I promised him that I would never let him get hurt...and I broke that promise to him.

After a few minutes pass by, I notice Kyle's hand become motionless and realize that he must have fallen asleep. His hand is lying on my chest and I take a quick peek at his face, noticing his tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes, due to lack of sleep and all of the crying. I play with a few strands of his curly red hair between my fingers as I watch him sleep.

I move subtly and quietly do I don't disturb him and once I stand up I take one more glance at Kyle's now peaceful looking body. He _didn't_ deserve this at all. He's one of the sweetest, kind and caring people I know, and I make an oath to myself to find whoever did this to him.

"Bye Kyle…" I whisper into the silence of his room. Looking at the ground as I walk out, I can feel several more tears slip down my cheeks.

As I make my way out of his room, I'm too deep in thought when I feel a hand touch my shoulder gently. I nearly jump out of my skin, when I turn around to find Kenny standing there.

"What the hell, Kenny? Have you been standing there the entire time?" I stare at him in surprise, swearing that I heard him leave.

"Yeah…I just wanted to talk to you." His hand retracts from my shoulder, and he is wearing a somber expression.

"What do you want? I'm not really in the mood to talk to _you_." As I try to walk away from him, he runs and blocks my path.

"Stan, I'm really sorry. I know I should have said something, but Kyle…he didn't want _anyone_ to know. I tried to get him to go get help, we even took him to the police station."

"I know, he already told me. I don't care, he needs help and he's going to get it." I cross my arms, and stare fiercely at him.

"Well you're not going to tell anyone, are you? That's what you said to him. You're his _best friend_. _You_ should be the one to do it." His long, firm finger jabs at my chest repeatedly.

"He begged me, as his best friend, not to say anything. I'm respecting his wishes, when he wants to talk about it, he will."

"Stan, he was _raped_. This could affect his whole life, you know that, right?" Suddenly, anger courses through my body and I shove him roughly against the wall, creating a loud _thump_. I just remember that Kyle is sleeping and hope that the noise doesn't wake him up.

"I know that, Kenny! I'm not _stupid_! It's whatever he wants to do, we can't make him do anything if he doesn't want to." He gawks at my sudden abrubt outburst as he attempts to soothe his back.

"Somebody has to be the one to do it." I put my finger up to my lips, silently telling him to hush his voice. Luckily he understands, and we both stare at each other angrily in silence.

"Well, it won't be _me_. Not now anyway." Our eyes are fixed on each others as we hear loud footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Boys, what's going on up here? I heard a loud noise." Kyle's mom asks in a concerned, yet forceful voice.

"Nothing Mrs. Broflovski, I was just leaving. Kyle just fell asleep, so hopefully he feels better when he wakes up…" I turn around start to head down the steps quietly.

"Oh, alright…thank you, Stanley. Goodbye." I'm so distracted that I don't even care that she used my full name.

Before I'm out of sight, I look over my shoulder to meet Kenny's icy blue eyes once more, and I notice him looking back and fourth between me and Kyle's mom. _Kenny you better not say anything_, I say to myself, wishing I could use telepathy to communicate that to him.

As I walk out of his house, and outside into the surprisingly not too cool air, I pray that Kenny doesn't say a word to anybody. I hope he respects Kyle's wishes, that it's his decision when he tells somebody.

Right now, all I can do is be there for him when he needs me. All of our lives are about to change, especially for Kyle. And unfortunately, it's not going to be a good change.

I just hope Kyle is strong enough to deal with all of this on his own…for now I just have to believe in my best friend.

...

So there you go, chapter 4! I've been working on this for a few days...and I kept adding stuff, and I'm still not satisfied with it. After a while though, I was just like 'Ok, have had enough of working on this chapter'... soo this is the final product.

Sorry for the wait, I've had probably the worst week ever :S Personal shit is distracting me, and it's all unnecessary drama that I don't need to deal with. And also is anyone else annoyed with Deviantart? I've had multiple submissions taken down for no real reason, and I've been suspended for one of my drawings, which had an appropriate warning. I've emailed them, pissed off and they won't get back to me.

Anyways, Thank you to who reviewed and added this story to your favs! 'Guest', I-AINT-GONNA-TELL-YOU-MY-NAME, Symphknot and Dark Neko 4000

I would appreciate some more reviews as it keeps me going and motivated, but seriously thank you to all who view it :) Enjoy the chapter, and remember, no flames! I do not


	5. Chapter 5

I apologize to anyone who was hoping this was a chapter. I wanted to just get this off of my mind so I can put it behind me. Once I get the new chapter done, I will replace this chapter with it.

So, there have just been a few things people have said in some reviews that I want to clear up. Yes, I've deleted some because if people have a problem with me, message me and do not leave a review. I find it incredibly rude when someone posts a flame review. People are here to write what they want, and they're free to do just that. Nobody said you had to read things you don't like. That is what warnings are for, and I sure as hell always put warnings for my fics.

This story, in **no** way, is suppose to "make rape look sexy" or that I'm just using it for a plot. In fact, I am trying to do the opposite. I'm putting out there that this happens, to both girls and boys and it's a story about hurt, and trying to get past it. I absolutely,** do not** find rape to be sexy. In _any_ way! My heart goes out to those who have been victims to this.

For the one review that said they think I need help and am a pedophile, no, sorry, I'm not actually. I'm quite well aware of what I am doing, and if you guys don't like this kind of story, why the hell are you bothering to read it then? And also, they aren't nine year olds in my story. It's called fanfiction, and the fact I can write them to be as old as I would like.

Sorry everybody, but I am **so** sick of reading hate reviews, I've looked at some others stories and have seen some for others as well. If you want to keep bashing fanfics, I have no problem reporting you. And to those who don't review with a pen name, yeah get a life and stop hating because I could care less what you think of my fic =) Hopefully I don't get in trouble for this note because it's not a true chapter, but to everyone who has gotten reviews like this, don't listen to them because they clearly have no life. I just had to clear this up because again, I'm sick of reading these reviews.

And for my other fics, as another quick note, they are not little kids in it, and yes they do contain sexual content, but hey again, that is what warnings are for! Many, many South Park fics have sexual content, so if you don't like that, _no one_ is forcing you to read it.

Sorry again guys, I will do my best to get the next chapter up soon! Thanks to you all for your lovely reviews. Love you guys!


End file.
